Life issues: All That Glistens
Overcoming setbacks
Pa deals with a double blow
In the episode “All that Glistens,” Pa had pinned all his hopes on finding gold. When his dreams were dashed and his wife tragically died, Pa lost all self-respect and turned to the bottle for comfort. From there it was a downward slope for Pa and the kids.
Dealing with setbacks is something we all have to do. It takes great character to overcome these barriers.
Things can often turn out for the better as a result of a failure or disappointment. Pa missed out on finding gold but found something much more valuable – “the real gold is the love that’s all around you.” He was thankful for the things he still had. He decided to stop beating himself up about it and moved on to his next goal.
Missing out – a rough guide
Can you think of a time when you tried hard to achieve something but missed out or dealt with a disappointment?
How did you feel?
Did you
a. Take it upon yourself and think it was all your fault?
b. Talk about it with somebody else?
People deal with disappointment in different ways. The main thing is not to bottle it up or let the experience “burn you.” As Pa showed us, this behaviour can turn out to be self-destructive.
If you have a major setback here are some suggestions.
- React to it, don’t keep it inside you. Cry or talk about it to a friend. Get things off your chest.It might be tempting to seek solice in a huge tub of ice cream, alcohol or drugs.Although they could null the pain for a short time, you’ll end up feeling the worse for it.
The best thing to do is to deal with it. Like Jess said “It’s time for action.”
- Given time you should revisit the disappointment and ask yourself some questions ( it might be worth talking to a friend at this stage as well)Why did things turn out the way they did?Did I have any bearing over the result?
If you didn’t and it was something or someone else that determined the outcome, there is probably very little you could have done about it but take what you can from it.
If you did have some bearing over the result, it is important not to beat yourself up over it.
Use it as a learning experience
Work out some particular things that you will do differently next time.
Remember all those well-known quotes –
“There is no success like failure”
“We learn wisdom from failure much more than success.”
Appreciate and enjoy the good things which still surround you.
Then move on to the next challenge!